Something is Sinking In

Our DD has a problem with yelling out whatever she can think of when she's mad, especially when she has been thwarted and knows she is in trouble. We know they don't mean anything, it's just whatever comes to her mind at the time. In the past, these have generally been the most hurtful, manipulative things she can think of. It used to be "I hate you," or "You hate me," until she got in trouble for that too many times. Lately, she likes to yell things like "you don't love me," "you wish I weren't your daughter," or "I'm stupid." We have learned not to respond to these things, as we have said, "It's not OK to try to force people to say they love you or compliment you, but when you are not yelling we will happily tell you we love you and that you are smart."

Well, something must be sinking in, as some of her rants have changed recently. My personal favorites (all yelled at the top of her lungs):

When consequenced:
"I know you're just doing this because you care about me, and I don't like that!"

When told that she needed to be realistic about a situation (yeah, yeah, I know, not something she'd "get" anyway, but sometimes those "normal people" phrases just sneak out on me)
"I don't want to be realistic!"

When told to study her work, which she didn't want to do:
"I know I'm not dumb!"

Well, at least we know the messages are sinking in, and these are certainly more pleasant to listen to than venom ;-) Don't get me wrong, we still have the nasties, too, but these are a nice diversion. Take the good news where you can can get it, right?