The Scare of My Life

Our kids are members of the Pioneers group at our church (similar to scouts, but with a much less intense commitment). This morning was a nature walk/trash pickup at a nearby state park, followed by a picnic. While it was rather drizzly, it was a nice morning for it because it was cool and uncrowded.

The group of about a dozen or so youngsters and 1/2 dozen adults had a great walk, and pretty much had the trail to ourselves. We straggled out along the route, with kids dashing ahead or lagging behind to examine nature's treasures, but always together.

We stopped for an extended period at one point while the kids played in the woods and picked up trash, then headed to the visitor center in smaller clusters. When we got there, I saw DS, but DD was not in sight. First I checked the bathroom, then the woods where some kids were playing, then had someone check the visitor center up the hill. No DD. I started back down the path from which we had come, calling her name, figuring she'd been distracted just out of sight. No DD. I headed farther down the path, joined by another mom, and asked some bikers passing us to keep an eye out for her. My screams became louder and louder, more urgent.

As we approached the bridge to the island where we had hiked, I heard a voice in the woods and thought it was her. Hurrying to catch up, calling to her to head back to the path where I would be able to see her, I met two joggers who said they had seen her and tried to get her to turn around, but she ran onto the island away from them. Uh oh.

We crossed to the island, where there were 4 possible routes (although they all rejoin at various points). The joggers each took one, and recommended that I stay at the bridge in case she came that way. I screamed her name the whole time, thinking perhaps she was hiding to avoid getting in trouble. After about 10 minutes had passed, the other mom with me decided to take one of the paths unexplored by the joggers, and shortly afterwards a ranger showed up and drove around the other direction, again instructing me to stay put, since the bridge was the only route off the island.

Finally, after 15-20 minutes, the other mom came back down the path with DD, who was crying and saying she'd never do that again. She was obviously terrified, so I held her and told her how worried I was, and how grateful I was that she was safe. She says that she was distracted by a slug, and didn't notice that we had gone on, then went looking for me around the island, and didn't hear me calling. Not sure if this is true, or whether she heard me calling and ran to avoid getting into trouble, and bit off more than she could chew. Either way, I think the terror of the incident will remain with her for some time, and perhaps temper her urge to run off, not to mention serving as sufficient natural consequences for the incident. When they went to camp, we discussed how the best thing to do when you're lost is to stay put until someone comes to find you, but I didn't think to re-mention that for a 45-min group hike.

I am so relieved that she is OK. I know it probably sounds terrible, but I have found it much more difficult to bond with her, and to feel that "maternal" feeling I should. I care about her greatly, and work without hesitance to make sure she has everything she needs, but it was hard to see a special attachment between us. Perhaps its because my bond with DS is more open, or because there is so much struggle it's hard to have the fun, or because her attachment seems so loose. I always felt like she could be dropped into another family tomorrow, and within a week I would be forgotten and that person would be Mom. Being that scared for her made me feel like the bond is stronger than I realize, and I think she realized how much she needs mom, too.

DS was very worried, too, and commented to another mom, "I didn't even think I liked my sister that much, and now I'm scared she's lost." What a great realization for a 10-yr-old! I told him this bears out one of my favorite bible verses, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God." (Rom. 8:28) I said, "You still don't have to like her all the time, but it's something very good to remember."

Now I'm exhausted. All that adrenaline rush can wear you out!