You know, you'd think I would have learned by now. We'd just finished dealing with DD's last round of stealing. As part of her consequence, she had to write apology notes to those affected, and had to write lines saying she would not steal and she would not touch other people's stuff. I know, it sounds archaic, but it makes a good deterrent for her, and I hope the repetition will make the message stick.
So hope springs eternal in my heart that this time will be the last incident. That this will be the time the message sinks in. That this time will be different. HA!
Not 20 minutes after completing her consequence, DS and our Respite Foster Son (we'll call him Jon), came upstairs and asked if they could each have gum. DS happily shared with Jon, and they headed back downstairs to play. DD, of course, then asked if she, too, could have some gum. I said sure, and she proceeded to dig through her treat basket. I was standing there watching her hunt and shuffle things around, and saw her quickly palm a piece from DS's basket when she couldn't find one in her own. Sigh....
What gets me is that all she would have had to do is say, "I don't have any gum left in my basket, may I take one from my Halloween candy," and I would have said sure! And she did it right while I was standing there watching! So, she apologized to her brother, returned the purloined piece along with another from her own bag, and back to writing a few more lines. She said later that she was mad, but she handled it well, so there's something in the plus side.
And again, I can't help but hope that maybe this time will be the last one....
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5 comments:
You just have hope for your kids cause you are a good mom. And sometimes being a good mom also mean being a little delusional, er, I mean hopeful ;)
First, I have to say I love your quote in your header.
Second, I don't think letter writing is archaic.
I have 4 kids who steal. Three of them do it on purpose. But the oldest of those who steal is 9, she doesn't seem to get it. She thinks stealing has to do with sneaking things and lying about it.
I can tell everytime something does happen and I explain it to her, that she truly does not realize that whatever she has done is included in stealing. She never does that specific thing again after it's been explained to her.
I wondered when you said your daughter took the gum in front of you if she might be the same way. Of course, it could be that she just doesn't care... But I am blown away by my 9 year old who does things that most people know is wrong and doesn't think much about it.
My 9 year old would have taken a like candy from another basket so she could have the same and if someone had taken from hers for the same purpose, it wouldn't phase her at all. Now my other kids who steal, they would be having meltdowns if someone took from their basket,even if they had taken from anothers.
I felt the same way you do, hoping it was the last time. But with this particular child, I know it's going to happen again at least once and it won't be the same as any other time...if that makes sense.
I have found the same thing with my daughter - we have to cover every slightly different situation separately, explain that it is stealing, and generally that takes care of it, at least after a few repetitions. Unfortunately, the "taking my brother's candy" theme has persisted, making it a bit more purposeful. In this case, I think it was more a case of "he has plenty (as he does not waste it), so he won't notice, right?"
Generally, she is a magpie - she sees something that interests her, she grabs it, not thinking down the road to the results. It's that pesky impulse control that gets her every time! Fortunately, the things she takes are of negligible value, and she's never taken from a store, but one of these days it's going to bite her in a nasty way.
I am dealing with the stealing big time with my 8 yr old son. You ask why and he has no clue why he is taking things. I am so at a loss at what to do with him anymore. He has been taking money now. That is his big thing
Love your writing as punishment, we do MUCH OF THAT here at our house-they all hate it LOL! Good job~
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