DD will be 12 in a few months. Supposedly, at 12 she should be old enough to stay home by herself and be more independant. For her, we are not sure when that point will really come, if ever.
Here's a couple of examples of why we worry:
Yesterday we went to a local pool for the afternoon. Within 5 minutes, she had attached herself to a stranger (fortunately, in this case, a nice-looking young woman). I had to remind her that we don't talk to strangers. Within 30 minutes, she had found a toy at the side of the pool and "acquisitioned" it for herself. When I asked her about it, she dropped it in the pool and pretended she didn't know what I was talking about.
In the morning, at church, she got to know yet another family with a baby. DD LOVES babies. I mean big time obsession. Now, everyone says, "All girls her age love babies," but this is to the extreme. She will follow around anyone in church with a baby, try to pick them up, kiss them, etc. (the babies, not the parents ;-) I worry about what will happen when she figures out how to get one of her own.
Today when I picked her up from daycare, I saw her "petting" the back of a boy's head when he wasn't looking. I had to remind her that was always unacceptable touching.
Each of these occurances is really a little thing. Well-meaning friends will tell us, "Oh, every kid does that." Everywhere we go, people know her. We are told constantly what a sweet, friendly girl she is. We know that is a blessing. But she doesn't have the limits she should, and the stranger she befriends could just as easily be a predator as a sweet teenage girl. Or a boy could tell her, "If you love me you'll...." and she will follow willingly.
This is not a child who is ready for the typical independance of a 12-year-old, but day care options start to run out for her soon. With DH and I working full time, leaving her alone is not an option.
And this is why we worry....
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- Heather
- Wife of a wonderful, sensitive, hard-working, amazing, handsome, generous husband (Jeff, aka Devoted Husband - DH) and adoptive mother of 2 beautiful children, a 14-year-old daughter (Darling Daughter - DD) and a 13-year-old son (Dear Son - DS). Each day is an adventure, and I am still learning how to be a Mom one day at a time!
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2 comments:
My daughter is very similar. People just don't get it. Is your daughter eligible for PCA services? Now may be the time to get a public health assessment. When she turns 13, things could get difficult if she has to stay home alone. It is hard, isn't it? Because we want our kids to have their independence but doing so risks their safety so much more than the "average" child.
Goodness, it is a problem isn't it? Not being a working mum (and even when I was, as a teacher I was always home in the holidays) my kids are encouraged to bring their friends home to play or, as they get older, 'hang out' as I don't want them at other's homes when there are no adults in attendance, sometimes just an older sibling. Couldn't you find a local mum , preferably the mother of one of your daughter's friends, who could help out in this way? As my older kids grew up I was often the parent who had all the extra kids around, doing crafts and cooking and watching movies. I never minded...maybe you could formalise such an arrangement with someone.
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