A Weed by Any Other Name

I have been spending a lot of time in the garden lately catching up on weeding. Our spring up here was a long time coming, and once it finally arrived, I was out of town more than in it. And so, the lovely prairie land behind our house encroached on the garden with lots of 3 ft. high grass. Therefore, every spare moment when the sun is shining is spent wresting this grass (and its nasty runners) out of the ground. This gives you a lot of time to think.

I started noticing that much of what I was pulling as a "weed" in the garden would be classified as "desirable" elsewhere. The lawn grass had crossed the plastic line we set for it, and settled in to stay. The prairie grass and flowers, which we enjoy seeing out behind our property line, refuse to recognize our sovereignty over this little patch of land. And what makes those volunteer species different than the cheerful little Johnny-jump-ups which have sprung up all over, and which I am not only leaving, but encouraging? It's all about perspective, and crossing the invisible "lines."

This reminds me of several young men, two of whom we know personally, one whom we've learned of through blogging, who are now in jail. If you read the articles which have been written about their crimes, you probably would assume the worst. Poor parenting, stupid choices, incorrigible young men who are getting what they deserve - that's how they're defined right now because they crossed the line. I know I have thought the same thing when reading these types of articles. These are society's "weeds."

But from another perspective, on the other side of the "line," they are not weeds. They are loved, desirable, nurtured. They each have caregivers who put their hearts and souls into parenting them to the best of their ability, and are now suffering as they see the young men they nurtured go down the wrong path. Two of these men we have know since they were 9 years old - it's hard to reconcile our memories of those sweet little boys with the men who now sit in jail. Each of these young men is afflicted with FASD, and burdened with the results of the poor choices they've made. It's easy to forget this, but for every "stupid criminal" article we read (and laugh at), there is probably a family out there wondering what they could have done differently, mourning the loss of their little boy/girl, and hoping that somehow, some way, they will emerge in one piece from the other side of this ordeal.

Anyway, I won't be showing any mercy to the weeds anytime soon - they still bug me. And I firmly believe that everyone should be held accountable for their choices, no matter the excuse. But I think I will look at these news stories a little differently, and try to remember that these, too, are loved children, with families who worry about their future, just as much as I worry about my son and daughter.