You're My Little Girl

It continues to be a rough ride with DD. Mad at everything. Refusals. etc. etc. etc. Tonight she pulled the same trick with math - doing the first 1/3 then guessing on the rest. I'm not sure if she thinks I won't notice, or that I'll go through it with her anyway, so why bother, or what. I never checked last night's assignment - I didn't have the heart. I'm sure it was more of the same, although I was sitting next to her while she did that one. Apparently she pulled off a B on Tuesday's assignment, but I am starting to wonder if she copied it from a classmate. I have shared my concerns with the teacher.

I'm struggling to find the correct response, something that clicks for her, but she just doesn't care. If it were because the subject was hard for her, that would be one thing. I don't expect Algebra to be a part of her future career, and life will go on. But this is her strongest subject. She knows how to do all the work, she simply refuses to. She is testing us, big time! I'm trying not to respond, not to buy into the drama. Tonight when she started yelling at me, I sent her to bed, and ignored her crocodile tears after she calmed down. I doubt it clicked for her, but I had a much more relaxing evening after she was in bed.

I listen to my iPod at work a lot, most of the time as background noise (and to drown out the noise from the conference room across the hall), but sometimes a song will find it's way to my conscious mind and get me thinking. Yesterday, it was "You're My Little Girl," by Go Fish. I have always loved that song!



The first verse in particular hit me as appropriate for DD:

The ones you love, they let you down and I want you to know that I'm sorry
The choices that they made were wrong, you were caught in the middle and I'm sorry
So when the anger and the pain get the best of you
I know it seems that you're all alone but I am feeling it too

You're My little girl
You're the one that I created
No one in this world could ever be like you
When you're crying in the night, all you need to do is call Me
I'll be there for you
Cause you're My little girl

As I listened, I thought about how much I would like DD to take this to heart. I want her to know that no matter what happened in her life, she was not the cause of the problem, and that the Lord loves her, knows her pain, and is there with her every step of the way. I want her to really hear this song (though she's heard it many times), but I know I can't make her absorb the meaning. However, this is still the message I want to imprint on her heart.

And then I listened to the bridge....

I know you don't deserve what you've been through
And I know it doesn't seem fair
I know that there are times you think you're alone
But you've got to know that I will be there

And I realized that it's not just DD who needs to take these words to heart. I get so beaten down by the rages, the frustrations, the hurt, the loss, that I forget that He is there for me every step of the way. I am His little girl, part of His plan. He hasn't forgotten me. When I am at my lowest, He is there.

How often do I forget this, and forget to turn to Him in the tough times? Too many to count! I need to remember that there is nothing I can do to heal DD. He is the one doing the work, and I am but His instrument. I need to remember to put this in His hands, and trust His plan for me, for DD, for DS and for Jeff. So easy to say, but so hard to do!