When MD's Don't "Get It"

Tonight I took DS & DD for their 2 year physicals. Because their ages are 14 mo. apart, if I time it right I can hit it so they are both in an even year and get them both with one trip. They have been really healthy the last couple of years, so we haven't been to that Dr. office since their last physical in 2006.

The doctor the kids had seen for many years is no longer at this clinic, and what was once a small local clinic is now part of one of the bigger health chains. This doesn't bother me (I wasn't a huge fan of the old doctor, and by linking with the bigger chain, we will have more direct access to more doctors.), however when I called to make the appointment, I found that they had input all the kids' old information into the computer (since birth dad was local, they had gone to this clinic with him previously). Birth names, birth dad & family as contacts, addresses, emergency contacts. They couldn't even locate the kids in the system at first, and this is after I have been taking them there for the last 5 years. Imagine what would have happened if the school or daycare had called based on the info on their emergency cards. Needless to say, I wasn't impressed.

Since their old doctor had retired, we needed to select a new one. This is rather like Russian roulette, so I just took whatever name they offered. After all, they mean nothing to me without meeting the dr. in person. I was pleased to get a woman, since I can see DD needing a female dr. in the future.

The nurse did a great job getting all the information in the system (though it took forever), doing the various checks on the kids, etc. Then the Dr. arrived. She asked about the kids' general health, and did the usual checks. Then she started in on DS's new medication (Abilify). She wanted to know whether he was diagnosed as bipolar, and what behaviors we had seen before he went on the meds. Now, I don't have a problem with full disclosure to a doctor, but I was miffed that she was doing it in front of him, his sister, and the nurse, and while he was clearly embarrassed. I didn't feel I could talk freely, and I felt like she was questioning our judgement in the meds and about his issues. Since we got the scrip through our psychiatrist, I'm not dependant on her for it anyway.

Then it was DD's turn. Again, she started questioning the meds (Vyvanse, which she spelled incorrectly). She asked if it was for ADHD, and I said, "Yes, but also for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome."

She glanced at DD and said, "She doesn't really have the facial features of FAS." To which I calmly responded, "It is more obvious in her younger pictures, and besides, facial features are only a small component of the diagnosis." I mentioned that while she performed well on logical, clear cut tasks, more abstract concepts were difficult, as well as impulse control.

Then we discussed their asthma maintenance. While at first the kids had a lot of problems, now they basically only have issues intermittently, mostly whenever they pick up a cold bug. Even though I wasn't bowled over by the last doc, he at least realized early on that I had a good handle on how to monitor the kids' asthma and what tools (meds) I needed to accomplish this without a lot of bogus office visits. The new one just talked over me and told me we couldn't have this or that (the meds which have worked in the past), and if things got to that point then we would just have to come in. In other words, they want to bill insurance for more visits. Grrr...

It really bugged me that she had seen these kids for less than 10 minutes, but was questioning our diagnosis and reading of their needs. I do not like being talked down to, or having my knowledge questioned like that. I felt it was unprofessional for her to make the kids so uncomfortable by talking about everything in front of them, and making me explain their faults in detail in their presence. It's not that they don't know what their issues are, they just don't need it rubbed in their faces.

Fortunately, if the last few years hold true, we won't need a dr. visit for another 2 years (knock on wood). By that point, we can pick a different dr. for our appointment. I could switch clinics, but there aren't many as convenient for us, and I have loved the nursing staff. The nurse today took extra time to go through their charts and input all the kids' past immunizations into the system, so she could give me a nice printout. (I never had a great record before, just info I had cobbled together). If we had more medical issues, maybe it would be worth it, but not so much for such healthy kids.

Oh, and to top it all off, both kids needed 3 shots (flu, chicken pox, and Tetanus booster). DD, who I'd think would be a wimp, was just fine. DS, who generally likes to show off how tough he is (and barely flinched at the last flu shot), tried to refuse and ended up howling. How can something so necessary make me feel like such a mean mom!? And I didn't even opt for the optional Meningitis or HPV vaccines.