Updates and School Conferences

This morning I took DS to his 3-month follow-up after being put on Abilify for his anger issues. It was great to have nothing but wonderful things to report. This medicine has made a huge difference for him. It gives him that split second he needs to stop and think before his anger rages out of control. I think we've only had one rage since he started, and a few crying sessions. But even then he's done better at getting back on track.

We're also going to try DD on Vivance, since she is outgrowing her Adderall. Hopefully this will give her a little bit more focus during the day. Anyone have experience with this med?

This evening it was time for conferences. First DS's - nothing but glowing things. According to the teacher, he has blended well into his new classroom, has an excellent work ethic, and sets a great example for his peers. DS absolutely loves this teacher. In his eyes, she hung the moon. We find this interesting, as she is known for being one of the stricter teachers in the school, but in his words, "she keeps me in line, and I need that." She commented that he has shown a lot of maturity in class, and is a joy to have as a student. It's been wonderful to watch him blossom this year. He loves that he is no longer known as the "angry kid," and instead can just enjoy his friends.

In between conferences, we decided it would probably be a good idea to locate our children. DS was playing with some of the kids in the gym, but we couldn't find DD in the child care room or the gym. We started looking for her elsewhere, and finally found her in the conference room, quietly working on her homework. What a great sight!

We tensed ourselves for DD's conference next. The first part of her year was rough, and I was constantly being told about what she was doing wrong, leading me to some pretty down moments. We weren't sure what to expect (though we keep in contact with the teacher constantly). Fortunately, we were in for a pleasant surprise. Her grades this quarter were mostly A's & B's, with C's thrown in for PE and Science. Though she still gets mad at some of the transitions and anticipation of consequences, we were told DS has made huge strides in the classroom. The teacher said that today her name was on the board for talking, and was accidentally erased. When asked if hers had a check or not (a check after your name means missed recess time), DS calmly said that yes, she did, and put her own name in the "5 minutes" category. This is amazing to us - a few years ago she would have run out of the room screaming. We talked about her success, and we think that part of it is that consequences are very clear at this school, and very consistently applied. She knows what to expect, and I think that takes away some of the tension. She's learned that missing 5 min. of recess will not be the end of the world, too.

We met with DD's science teacher, too, since this has been a trouble spot. Last week, DD got mad because she had to redo an assignment, so she screamed, "I hate you and I hate science!" at the top of her lungs. We wanted to see if we could come up with some strategies for the future. After talking to the teacher, we learned that, for that class, C+ is a very good grade (tougher curve). Also, the teacher was able to look back and see what she could have done differently to avoid escalating the situation the previous week, and we discussed some strategies she could use in the future. We are so glad that the kids are integrating into this school. Although we know it won't always be smooth sailing, we are definitely confident we made the right decision.

Of course, it was a different story when we got home. DS still can't handle any sort of criticism of his homework. I'm not talking harsh criticism, where we tell him how awful he is (and we definitely don't do that!!!). I mean little things like, "You might want to check this section for misspelled words," or, "I think you aren't quite understanding how the carrying thing works - let's take a look at it." Basics of a parent helping their child. But the way he responds, you'd think I'd just called him every horrible name in the book, and rejected him from the family. He just bawls and can't be consoled. I have learned to hug him, remind him that a correction of his work is not a criticism of him, and tell him to go calm down in his room and come back when he's ready to face his work again. Generally, after he is calm again, he does a great job on whatever the subject is.

Today it was because he'd written a story, but had cut it very short just to be done. Writing stories is something he does very well, so I knew it was an "I want to be finished quickly" type of ending, and not one into which he'd put a lot of effort. I told him that he should probably flesh it out a little, and to do a little checking for run-on sentences. I could see the tears forming, so I recommended that he step away and come back to it. As he went upstairs, he bawled, "I can't do it!" When dinner was over, he did it just fine. But when I try to get an idea of what is making him respond so poorly, he can't give me any ideas. Hopefully, this will pass for him eventually, too.

So, once again we are up, we are down. But the positive reports today were a great upper!