OK, I know there aren't many of you, but I hope some of you will have experience upon which I can draw.
DS has been raging lately. A lot. Every time something frustrates him, someone tells him "no," or he loses at a game, he gets so angry. The darkness behind his eyes is scary. He yells such hateful things, not just against us, but against himself. We've been at our wits end with trying to reason with him. Usually he is so logical, can talk about his feelings, and he responds to consequences with an improvement in behavior. This has been so unlike him lately. We've suspected depression and have been working on getting appointments set up, but insurance issues have plagued us.
This morning we had just such a rage (in the back seat of our van, in front of daycare. Oh joy...) Finally when I got him calmed down, we started talking about what was going on. For the first time, I asked the right question - do you hear someone telling you these hateful things? He admitted that yes, he is hearing voices - not thoughts, but external voices telling him to fight, telling him to hate, and telling him he's not worth loving. Oh boy...
I am already trying to get some psych history on birthdad from the social worker (who is out for a few days), and going to work on a psychiatrist appointment (she has a long waiting list, but DD has an appointment next week, and I'm going to see if I can do a bait and switch). But if any of you have had any experience with this, I would love your insight and advice. The Lord will guide us through this, I know, and help this wonderful boy, but right now I'm scared for him, too.
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- Heather
- Wife of a wonderful, sensitive, hard-working, amazing, handsome, generous husband (Jeff, aka Devoted Husband - DH) and adoptive mother of 2 beautiful children, a 14-year-old daughter (Darling Daughter - DD) and a 13-year-old son (Dear Son - DS). Each day is an adventure, and I am still learning how to be a Mom one day at a time!
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4 comments:
My daughter hears voices. They have made her do some scary stuff. One time, one "threw" her into our sliding glass doors. Therapy and a psychiatrist. It isn't easy to get them in but you could call your disability worker (if you have one) to get a referral. Also, if your son does art, this is a good way to channel those voices when he isn't raging. When he is, just hold on and be there for him. IMO :) And good luck! It ain't easy.
Hi! I found your blog through Torina. My daughter is diagnosed RAD. She is healing, but for a long time she always talked about the "good" Alyssa and the "bad" Alyssa. The bad Alyssa would make her do or say things. We discussed this with our AT, and found out that it is pretty "normal" with these kids. It is their inner war of whether or not to trust us. Do they respond and accept our love(good Alyssa) or do they doubt us and toss it back at us(bad Alyssa). We have acknowledged her "war" and have praised her for making good choices and shown empathy when she hasn't.
Gerri
I should add that Tara does this as well and it is separate from her "friends". She calls her nice self "Tara 1" and her naughty mean self "Tara 2". This helps us to work on increasing the good behaviors.
I agree that sometimes RAD kids have good/bad "Alyssas" (for example) in their heads, but I also have known some under-10 kids who actually have auditory hallucinations. I agree with Torina - get access to a (good) psychiatrist as fast as possible. Sounds scary. Take care.
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