The phone rang again...
It was the day camp...
I cringe every time they call. My stomach sinks. I wonder, "What now???" If it's not him, it's her.
DS got angry at something small that happened (again) and went after another child (again). He has to leave for the day (again). They'll let him back tomorrow, but I will wait anxiously for the next phone call.
Last time it was a fight over the rules of a game... he ended up punching the kid in the eye. The kids made up and were fine, but the other parent threatened to sue and press assault charges if DS wasn't removed for 2 days.
This time it was because he was hit in the head with a ball during a dodgeball game... he chased and tried to choke the kid (DS claims he only tried a pressure point, like that is somehow better).
What will it be next time?
I don't think the Abilify is working anymore. I don't think he wants it to. I'll bet the voices are back, though he hasn't admitted it.
I think, at least in some small corner of his mind, he wants to get in trouble, get kicked out, get rejected. Safer to have the rejection be on your own terms than to have it happen when you start caring and trusting.
And he's supposed to go to camp next week (4 hrs away). How do we leave him there with any confidence? How do I take him to day camp tomorrow? How do I leave him at school? I can't stay home, and I can't homeschool, so please don't suggest that (much as I'd love to, no, I can't).
I want to cry. I want to run. I want my loving little boy back. I want Satan to leave him ALONE!
I know this is small potatoes compared to the issues many of you are facing. But if you have a few seconds, please pray for him. I don't even know what to pray for, but please pray for him.
Thanks.
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7 comments:
That sucks. I remember the daily phone calls all too well. You are in my thoughts.
Sorry, I do know how hard it is, that was last year for us. I can't homeschool either, plus no one can handle them all day alone! For us meds worked really well this year, after years of trying, they may not work for everyone but I would keep trying different ones and higher doses just in case. We finally have almost calm normal behavior using Depakote and Risperdal and Zoloft, it has been an amazing change, and a huge chance at a normal life.
Good luck!
he is in our prayers.
love ya.
My daughter has had the same experience with Abilify. It worked wonders for several months, then it was like she pushed and pushed and forced the door back open to her rages/fits/ meltdowns. That is so strange that we had the same view.
Satan is messing with your kid?
Whoa.
You mean that figuratively, right?
Well, yes and no. No, I do not believe my child is literally "possessed" (although there are some rages where I think I can picture what that would look like, if such a thing exists. At those times, he has a darkness behind the eyes that is truly terrifying)
But yes, I believe Satan works in his life, as he does in everyone's to pull us away from the grace of God. I believe he finds our individual weaknesses and exploits them, to our detriment; in my son's case it's his anger control that is his weakness. I have my own weaknesses and issues which challenge me each day. I pray every day for the Lord to give all of us the strength we need to resist these temptations.
My faith is a huge part of who I am, and I know that without it, and without God's sustaining grace, I would not have made it through a single day, nor would I have the many blessings He has given me. And I know it is His healing that has allowed both children to succeed well beyond anyone's expectations for them. I am blessed beyond belief!
You all are in my prayers. This must be so frustrating.
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