A Banner Day

Ah what a joy it is to raise my children. To send them off to school knowing they will have a productive day full of learning and friendship.

Not.

I got a call from school about 1:30, informing me that DS was being removed from class for the remainder of the day for choking another boy on the playground and slamming his head on the ground, and when could we pick him up please? Fortunately, DH was off work in an hour, and they were willing to hold him in the Principal's office until then. Turns out it was an argument with a good friend of his over whether a ball was in or out in four-square. Even DS realizes this was a dumb reason (his words) for a fight. Once he calms down, he's always pretty good at seeing the error in his ways, but can't stop himself in the heat of the moment.

We just added a little extra Abilify in the mornings, hoping to give DS a little more control, but it's still a little early to tell if it's helping. He's been a lot more "combustible" the last couple of months, and we are concerned that we are headed right back where we were last summer. We received midterm reports, and learned that he's been taking regular trips to the Principal's office lately for disobeying his teacher (whom he loves). I wish they would have told us sooner, so we could have dealt with it sooner. Nothing like finding out there's an issue after it's already grown out of control.

Then, we received an e-mail from DD's teacher telling us that she threw a grand mal fit over a spelling assignment which was incomplete, then threw another in Computer class and was defiant in that class. So she has been banned from the computer room for the remainder of the year (1.5 weeks), and will take a poor grade because she is way behind on the typing work she was supposed to be doing all year (again, thanks for letting me know!) The thing that gets me is that she raged for quite a while at the teacher, but the minute Mrs. K suggested they would need to call me, she stopped an apologized. The fact that DD could stop on a dime like that tells me she could have stopped earlier, and instead chose to continue her fit as long as she felt she could get away with it. Even DD admitted that was the case, and she generally isn't our introspective one.

This is on top of her being banned last week from the locker room and attached bathroom for the remainder of the year, because she can't go in there and keep her fingers out of others' stuff. Oh, she denies it, but I know she's poking around in backpacks and lockers instead of doing her business and getting out. She's always had a bathroom fetish, and can't seem to get out in less than 20 minutes without a reminder. She even admitted that she's been taking 4-5 bathroom trips a day (again, thanks for letting me know!)- way more than really needed - so she can "stare at things." She's not happy about having to use the lower grades' bathroom for the next few weeks, but that's the consequence.

I love this school, really, and the kids have thrived there this year, but I am a bit frustrated about their notifications. I made it very clear at the beginning of the year to PLEASE LET ME KNOW if there were any issues, the sooner the better. Once I can address an issue, it generally starts to improve, but I can't deal with things of which I have no knowledge. This is particularly true with DD, who doesn't generalize from one situation to another. So telling her to behave and not get defiant with Mrs. A does not automatically translate to behaving and complying for Mr. Z. We have to cover each scenario individually. Plus, if she gets away with something once, she will continue to do the same thing repeatedly until pushed to comply.

For the last several months, I have received few complaints. She's been getting A's and B's on her report card. For me, this means things are going fine, right? Then all of a sudden I get a call telling me they want to start sending her home immediately if she is at all defiant, because it has become too much of a problem. Ummm... no, that should be a last resort, and what can we try first, and if you had let me know sooner, we could have dealt with this! They did agree to try a countdown and calling me first, then going home if she still can't regulate, but that was only because I refused to have this be a 1-strike-you're-out system. Sigh... I think we need to have some long conversations before the next school year starts, but at this point in the year, with only 1.5 weeks left, I'll just wait until fall.

Ah well, tomorrow is another day, right? And I won't get another phone call, right? They won't both pull this at the same time again, right?

Yeah, yeah, I know I'm delusional. Just let me have my fantasies, all right?